Home is Where the Heart is

How families get through struggles together

Being in high school, you experience lots of new opportunities to grow as a person. You make new friends and even build romantic relationships with people. Having these relationships with people at school can put a strain on relationships you have with your family. For me, it was hard to master the skill of appreciating family until I had ruined my relationship with them. 

At the beginning of this year, I tried to ignore the importance of family, by putting a romantic relationship in front of them. By being dishonest and lying over and over again, I ruined the trust I had built with my parents over the years. 

By taking risks and being dishonest, I ruined not only my relationship with them but my relationship with myself, as my physical and mental health declined.

“Adolescence is widely recognized as a critical developmental period that shapes individual trajectories into adulthood. During adolescence, many young people engage in risk behaviors or experience adverse events that contribute to poor health outcomes and diminished life opportunities,” states the American Academy of  Pediatrics.

Rebuilding from being dishonest and taking risks that not only put myself in harm’s way but also others is hard. 

 The romantic relationship faded and died out faster than it started. I wish I could take back all the anger and sadness I took out on my family. They have always been my biggest supporters when I do the activities I love. Even when I’m frustrated at them they still show up for me at sporting events, school events, and other things I care about. 

How I try to rebuild is by spending more time with family and trying to be more open-minded. 

A blog called Silver Sneakers listed five steps to use in order to start rebuilding relationships in a family, these were the ones that stood out to me the most:

First, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how it might have hurt the other person, or how the wrongdoing was perceived. I did this by understanding how I hurt my family and how this not only affects me but them too. 

Second, reach out and take responsibility. A heartfelt apology is how you can start building a new foundation for this relationship. For me this meant taking time to apologize and find out how I can start changing my behavior. 

 Finally, know that things may not work out, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Put it all out there and try to fix things that are in your control.  I’m working to put myself out there and hope for the best. 

Having family there for me gives me the courage to tackle anything. My mom is one of my biggest role models. She is always confident and independent in everything she does and shows me how to be that way as well. 

Along with my mom, my dad is also a role model in my life. My dad teaches me the importance of family and how to treat people with kindness. Using these characteristics, I try to be strong and independent but also willing to be there for family and show kindness to everyone around. 

No longer influenced by a romantic relationship, I’ve realized that I am the person I am today because of my family, which isn’t something that can be replaced. 

My new perspective is to get rid of the negatives and live my life to the fullest by not only appreciating the good things that I have, like my family and friends, but also making decisions for my future that will help me go further in life. 

No matter what I do or where I go, I will always want to come home.